How To Be A Hostess With The Mostess

We all want to to be a hostess with the mostess.  They are good cooks, confident, relaxed, inviting, relational…and just down right awesome.

Do you know anyone like this?

Well, you can learn to be one too, even if you feel like awkwardsauce.

But before we get to that… there are some things you should know!

Origin & Meaning Of Hostess With The Mostess

In the 1950’s Broadway Musical Call Me Madam fictional character Sally Adams sang The Hostess With The Mostes’ On Ball during Act 1.

Though the original authors originally denied it, the character Sally Adams was based on Perle Mesta, who was a widow of Pennsylvania steel millionaire. From 1949-1953 Perle served as an Ambassador to president Truman.

While she was an active campaign supporter, it was know that part of the reason she landed this job was because of her reputation for hosting the best cocktail parties in D.C. during the 1940s.

According to Wikipedia…

Mesta is most noted for her festive parties, which brought together senators, congressmen, cabinet secretaries and other luminaries in bipartisan soirées of high-class glamour. Invitation to a Mesta party was a sure sign that one had reached the inner circle of Washington political society.

Becoming An Everyday Hostess With The Mostess

Ok, maybe you’re not trying to host political events for the social elite.  That’s ok.  Maybe you’re more interested in having friends over for dinner, hosting a special occasional, or inviting guests in from out of town.

Well, you’re in the right place!

In our quest to be a hostess with the mostess we sometimes forget what it’s all about…(here’s a hint…it’s not you) 😉

YOUR GUESTS!

It not about your dinner menu, or freshly cleaned home, your organized kitchen, or well decorated living room.  Maybe you’ve spent some time preparing those spaces and that’s awesome.

But remember, the focus is about creating an inviting and relaxing experience FOR THE PEOPLE you’ve invited into them.

Put yourself in the shoes of your guests, and you’ll be sure to win!

Hostess With The Mostess How To

Whether you’ve been entertaining for yours, or are looking to host your first gathering you will want to be sure to check these boxes.

You don’t have to have crazy skills in the kitchen or an impressive home.  You don’t have to know how to create a gorgeous table scape or set a formal place setting.

Creating an atmosphere that people want to return to again and again is more fundamental that you might believe.

Below are 5 simple tips on how I’ve been able to do it in everything from undecorated 1 bedroom apartments to large stately homes.

Let’s get started.

#1. Mutual Agreement

Do you live by yourself?  If you do…enjoy a little extra peace and quiet for me! Our home is filled with 6 little feet, 3 exuberant voices, and 2 tired adults most of the time.

For the rest of you who are blessed to share their living space, hosting a gathering deserves a little more consideration.

Simply put, both executive parties need to be agreeably on the same page.

Sometimes this can get a little tricky.

It’s fairly common for one person to be more enthusiastic about the event than another, but at the end of the day, everyone has to be willing.

If someone’s really not feeling it, good chance your guests will pick up on that.

If someone is dreading the gathering you want to plan, go back to the drawing board and conjure up something that has more support.

Make sure that it’s respectful and enjoyable for everyone involved.  Doing so sets the stage for the hosts to be in tune with one another, relaxed, and avoid any pre gathering bickering.

#2. Clean, But Not Always Tidy

I’ve heard a lot of people joke that ‘we shouldn’t bother cleaning before an event, we should clean afterwards!’

Yes, you may have some cleaning to do after the event (especially when little kids are involved) but you’re forgetting about one crucial piece of the equation.

MOTIVATION!

Inviting people into our living spaces helps spur us on to accomplish some of those neglected housekeeping items.

Even if things return to their more familiar state of disarray after the event, it’s always glad to know that you’ve sanitized and spruced up areas of your home that were needing it.

You don’t need to kill yourself.  Simply wipe down bathroom countertops and potties, put out a fresh hand towel, empty a trash can and clear off some of the clutter from the main living spaces.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had guests stay the night maybe wash those guest bedroom sheets to freshen them up a bit.

Don’t Over Do It!

We’ve all walked into homes that are so immaculately clean and precise that we worry about leaving a smudge or heaven forbid..spill something.  Don’t do this to your guests.  It leaves them on edge when everything is immaculate and makes it harder to kick back and relax.

Provide your guests with an environment that they feel comfortable relaxing in, and they will.

A few toys out of the toy bins show families coming into our home that it’s ok to put your kids down and let them play.  An unfolded blanket on the couch says it’s ok to cozy up in, and not just placed there as decor.  Catch my drift here?

Make your space clean and inviting, but for all you neat freaks out there, don’t over clean and send out museum like vibes.

#3. Consider Your Space

You know… your home, your apartment, your bungalow, your mansion, or wherever it is that you dwell.  Wherever that may be, it’s wise to make a couple key considerations before inviting anyone over.

Step into your guest’s shoes for a minute…

What would it be like for your guests to approach and enter your home? How well do you know them?  What might they notice as they approach your place?  What thoughts might be running through their head?

Consider comfort level you share with the people you’ve invited.

Granted this gets easier the better you know someone, but it’s an incredibly important consideration to make when you aren’t overly well acquainted.

Is there anything you can think to do that would make them feel more at ease?

I don’t mean you should neglect who you are and the way you like to do things.  I’m rather suggesting it’s wise to make a few tweaks to align with your guests normalities so that they instantly feel comfortable.

#4. Smart Meal Selection

I’m not going to talk about how much to serve, and what to make.  There are plenty of resources online for that!

Right now, it’s time to be honest about your skills in the kitchen.

Making a meal, cleaning the high spots of your house, and dealing with whatever else you’ve got going on can be a lot.

It takes smart decision making, and the ability to predict a problem before it happens to keep everything running smoothly.

How do you do that?

It’s best to make food selections around your skill level.

There is nothing wrong with great delivery pizza and a good salad when starting out (or anytime for that matter).  If you’ve been around the block and are able to execute beef wellington with a peppercorn sauce, more power to you!

Remember to make recipe selections that compliment your skill level and be careful not to underestimate the time and attention required to make multiple dishes at once.

It’s completely acceptable to focus on one or two delicious homemade dishes, and to also take a little help from the store.  If you’ve been at this a while and like to pull out all the stops by all means go ahead!  Just be sure to leave adequate time for it.

Even now, as I’ve been at this a while, I rely heavily on these hosting shortcuts that help me pull off a delicious gathering without having to kill myself in a kitchen right before mealtime.

#5 Ready, Prep, Go

Things all good on the home front?  You’ve extended the invite and they are able to come? Now it’s time to execute!

It really is all about the food prep.  This is undoubtedly the most important principal when it comes to keeping your stress levels down and hosting a gathering.  If you want to be a hostess with the mostess you need to think ahead and get the majority work done before your guests arrive.

It’s always a good idea to leave room for kitchen mishaps.  We all make them, but if you are preparing foods well in advance to people arrive you have the TIME to fix them.

When the host is relaxed, the guests will be more likely to relax as well.

Keep in mind you won’t do everything perfectly, especially when starting out.  Remember that hosting is a journey not a destination.

Inviting people into your home and preparing food for them is one of the most intimate forms of generosity.

Most guests are happy and and relieved to see a few imperfections, and if they aren’t, they probably aren’t worth having over again anyway.

Set yourself up for success by thinking through these 5 tips and you set yourself well on your way.  If you’re like me, you’ll even find some unexpected benefits….

That being, when you are open and giving to others you often find the best version of yourself.

Cheers for now!

<3 Ang

Psssssssssst! Want to learn about one of my secret weapons?